We read all these blog posts and book of being a Proverbs 31 woman, and yes we as women need to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman! I'll post about that later. Today lets focus on an Ephesians 5 man. If you aren't familiar with this scripture read it....here it is! You have your very own checklist of who a Godly husband is supposed to be and what his characteristics are.
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any suchthing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Selfless love. Someone who will care for you and take care of your needs. Jesus loved the church more than he loved himself and he did everything in his power to protect her, love her, and honor her. In this same way husbands are to love their wives. In a partner, this is something that we should seek. We should hold men to high standards because part of the reason that men {in general} are not stepping into to the calling that God has for them as husbands is because we let them slack. {but don’t be offended when your man holds you accountable to be a Proverbs 31 woman} Husbands and wives are each other’s accountability partners and early on in a dating relationship is when these roles are established. Love is more than a mushy-gushy feeling, it is a commitment that lasts long after the butterflies fade away. Love is all encompassing because it is protecting your mate, honoring them, being faithful to them in every sense of the word, seeing the best in them and loving them like Jesus loves us—unconditionally.
26 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word"
In Christ we have a new life and are new creations. The words written in the Bible are truth, are life, are everything to me. To be sanctified and cleansed with the word is to have the word spoken over you. What does God imply in Ephesians 5:26? I think what is being implied is that we choose husbands who are Godly men, men who take the time to read The Word and speak The Word over their wives in all situations. Once you are married, you will spend the majority of your time, thus your life, with your significant other. If a situation arises that does not line up with the Word of God, your man as the spiritual head (1 Corinthians 11:3) needs to know the Word and speak it over each situation. The words written in the Bible are our tools and because words carry power, God wants us to use the words written in our life manual so that our words line up with His.
27 "That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any suchthing; but that it should be holy and without blemish."
Perfect is something that none of us are…right? Well, I would agree that no one who has ever walked the Earth except for Jesus Christ himself is perfect but what if your husband loved everything about you? This can be a tall order but God calls husbands to see us as holy and not having a spot or wrinkle. God calls husbands to not necessarily think their wife is perfect but to look at us and love all that they see. Husbands are called to encourage their wives and not focus on what they think are flaws but to instead embrace who their wife is and love every part of her. The truth is, the less you focus on what you don’t like, the more you can focus on what you love about a person. The more someone, especially your husband, showers you with love the more you want to be a better Christian, a better wife, a better woman. No one is perfect but when two people, a husband and a wife see the best in each other there is a sense of balance, a sense they together are perfectly imperfect.
28 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
29 "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"
When two people become one and marry they are spiritually the same being, half of a whole. The importance of putting your partner’s needs above yourself is unlimited. I am not saying that husbands are to put themselves last but when both partners focus on the other’s needs above their own and demonstrate selfless love there is a sense of happiness and fulfillment greater than if each partner focused on solely themselves. The Bible tells men several times how they are supposed to treat their wives. The husband is not to take on the role of the dictator, but should show respect for his wife and her opinions. In fact, verse 28 and 29 exhorts men to love their wives in the same way that they love their own bodies, feeding and caring for them. A man’s love for his wife should be the same as Christ’s love for His body, the church. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:18-19). "7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1 Peter 3:7).
God has called husbands to rise up to these standards and wives are supposed to help keep them accountable to these standards. Just because God called husbands to these callings doesn’t mean that women are to just go and do whatever they want, like most other things this is a two-way street. What does your husband do that meets the Ephesians 5 version of God’s role for a husband? What does your boyfriend do that meets this list? Feel free to share in the comments! :)
